I am sitting here in disbelief that it really is the second day in 2015. Seriously? Where did 2014 go? New Year's Eve last year in 2013 entailed me hanging out with close friends knowing that I was moving to Virginia in obedience to God. I had expectations for 2014; I had envisioned in my head what it was going to look like before it had even started. Most of these expectations were not met. Yup, not met at all. Little did I realize when I agreed to be obedient, it went with every aspect of my life. I possessed a sense of entitlement of that since I was in fact being obedient with moving away from all of the people I love that God would allow me to call the shots in how I thought 2014 in Virginia would look.
I am a planner. Plan, plan, plan. It's what I do. It's my security blanket. I get my ducks all in a row to eliminate any chances of happenstance. This planning is a form of unbelief. It is telling the Creator of the Universe that I have an inability to trust Him fully. What are you talking about, Liz? You moved to Virginia because He told you to. Yeah...I did. It doesn't mean I went happily and with a smile on my face. Obedience is not always going to be joyful, especially when my aligned ducks were starting to sink or float away. Especially when I realized obedience meant stretching me and exposing my wrong thoughts about God. He is the Almighty! Who am I to expect Him to do what I want simply because I listened to His command? He is my Father, and I his child. His love for me is unconditional, and I was never meant to be self-sufficient. His abundance and my emptiness go hand in hand. It is only His Spirit that can fill me truly.
A wise friend told me that "It's not always about the place He calls you
to, but the people He wants you to meet." 2014 was definitely a year of new and old relationships. In order to grow in these relationships; isolation was necessary. God had to isolate
me to change and prepare me. He did put people in my life from VA that
have loved me, encouraged me, and challenged me. They have prayed with
me, and for me when I didn't feel like it. Beyond the people I met in Virginia was the relationship with my beau that started in July. It is a wonderful story of how prayer changes everything. Sure, we are human and are always in need of a learning curve, I am just so fortunate that we get to do it together.
I am so grateful for 2014. I have experienced so much. The overwhelming presence of God with clear and direct answers. The day-to-day living of trying to take tiny trust steps with Jesus even when I am not entirely sure if I heard Him correctly. Learning to love someone with flaws. Allowing someone to love me despite my flaws. Being broken of my strong-headed thinking. Praying. Praying. Praying. Praying and receiving silence. Learning that God's will may be the hardest place to be, but it is always the safest and best place to be.
So, here I am. 2 days into 2015. Not sure of what this year holds. But, here I am. Praying. Waiting. Believing. Trusting.
